It is now Friday, and 5:00PM and I finally walked into my clean and sun-filled apartment.
This last 24 hours since my last entry have been another knock out for me emotionally. During middle of the night, Wednesday to Thursday, a patient was moved into my room who was in terrible pain and near the end of her journey. Her cries and the noise of the professionals working on her was not just disturbing to Jan and me but heart wrenching as we cried along with her. Her agony went on all during the day and although I tried to use ear plugs I found I couldn’t stay in my room for very long. By 5:30 PM last night, I was curled up in a chair in the lounge, unable to eat, uncomfortable and needing my own medication and emotionally spent. I really didn’t want to complain because I felt selfish but by 9:30 PM , I fell apart and was hysterical and really needed to get back in bed. The floor finally decided to move the other patient but by that time, I was in need of sedation. So, in a quiet, darkened room, a little out of it, Jan worked on the computer and I dozed.
Then God sent another miracle. At 11:00 PM. my curtain opened and Dr. Michael Zelefsky (our treatment engineer) was standing there. We asked if he was on rounds and he said he just came for a visit. We retold our frightening experience and Michael in his gentle way, reminded me of our 6 plan treatments and that Dr. Russo is waiting on the other side of those treatments to remove the kidney. The drop in my white cells was expected and I am rallying back the way I am supposed to.
Now we are home. It’s quiet and Jan will get to sleep in his own bed and eat a proper meal gratefully supplied by Rea’s in-laws at a proper table and celebrate the last two days of Passover.
I am emotionally spent, crying a lot but spiritually joyous and grateful. PLEASE KEEP UP THE ENERGY AND PRAYERS.
LOVE YOU ALL.