I’ve decided to play it safe and stay here in NYC this weekend.  I really had wanted to go to Boston and the Cape but I still wish to remain in close proximity to Sloan going into these last treatments.  I wish I didn’t have to do them but there are only two more and I’ve come so far.  Can’t quit yet.  In a little over a week, the treatments will be done and the scans can take place.  Prepare for anxiety, mood fluctuation, and lots of tears as I await the new information.

I spent yesterday with Rea and knitting this adorable striped sweater for the baby.  He is so busy (just like his mom).  She is handling this pregnancy beautifully and I am very proud of her.  Few or no complaints from the little person carrying this very large watermelon in the summer.

 I am grateful I woke up feeling more like me and thankful there is a light at the end of this chemo tunnel.  Don’t let anyone tell you this is an easy ride.  I am amazed by those who tell me they just took the meds and went on to work a full day and continued their lifestyle.  This is NOT anywhere near my experience.  Not only does chemo take a toll on your whole person physically, but the emotional and spiritual implications are huge.  It is very frustrating to feel sick all the time and not even be able to function or think rationally.  Thank God there are treatments that can kill these life threatening cells, but one must be prepared to use every ounce of strength, willpower, energy, positive thinking, flexibility and especially acceptance to go through this process.  AND I still don’t know what’s coming down the road!

For today, I am starting to plan for my return to my kids at school (whenever that is), write the necessary letters needed to extend my leave of absence, finish this little sweater, center myself, prepare for a lovely quiet weekend with my adorable husband, and just be thankful that I am here to appreciate it all.

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