It’s Tuesday and I am ready for these last two rounds of chemo. It is almost a relief that the day has arrived so I do not have to dwell on all the issues that run through my brain. For example: I want to continue to feel like myself and I don’t want to spend my days sick and sleeping. Can I eat anything without feeling nauseous? Is this stuff really going to cure me? What’s next treatment wise?
But today is Tuesday and I have had to learn the word ACCEPTANCE again!!!!!! It is easier to get through these treatments and this illness if I can learn acceptance daily but it is quite difficult. Today I accept that I am showing up at Sloan this morning in about 2 hours and I will accept the treatment and I will get back in bed and let the treatment do that which it is supposed to do. I will remind myself that there were five days last week that I felt pretty good and I will have days like those again. I will also remind myself that I am on a very bumpy road to recovery and I will be able to return to work, drive, shop, go out alone, be a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband and a grandmother to Simi, Huvi, and the new little guy if I just show up and do what the doctor’s tell me. Good reasons to Accept that which is in front of me.
Therefore, I am about to jump in the shower, take my meds, eat cereal, and get ready for my day at Sloan and be grateful that there is a treatment for my type of illness at the best cancer center in the world.
Pray hard. Have a thoughtful and serene day.