If there is one thing to appreciate, it is being home in your own bed in the quiet with no wires attached to you. I am so appreciative that I finally got some sleep last night and was in my own bed. These visits and stay overs at Sloan really stress me out and I stay awake the entire time and if I fall asleep, I am awaken again for vitals. The staff is so busy with so many many very sick people that I am many times on my own there (Thank God).
Today my grandson? will have his bris (circumcision) and get his real name. The time had to be changed from this morning at 9 to 6 this evening waiting for his bilirubin count to go down. We are so pleased the the mohel (the rabbi doing the bris) is a close friend , one whom we very much admire. He is so conservative about these numbers to ensure the baby is safe.
When the doctors asked me what my biggest complaint was yesterday, I told them I want to go home. They laughed. Then they said you are so stressed out that your are causing these high blood pressure numbers. I looked at them and said, “My daughter just had a baby, his bris is tomorrow, I have major surgery looming in the very near distance, I cannot go back to work next week and I don’t feel well.” I think they got it. And they discharged me as soon as they could LOL.
I am so grateful that I will be able to attend this special rite for my grandson and to be there for my daughter. It is a very emotional time for both Rea and me. We cry together on the (phone because we are both in transitional places right now). Rea has turned out to be an amazing mother but just like her mother, wants everything and the world to be perfect for her child. Now she understands who I am and I have grown to adore the woman she is turning into. I am so grateful for my son-in-law, Shuie, who has helped Rea get some sleep by staying up with the baby and being such an emotionally supportive husband.
I was hoping to spend the long weekend at the Cape but again that is up in the air. I have to see how I am feeling today, whether I can make the trip, and how Rea is doing. The Bochnersm(all three) would come also but that is a very long trip for the little guys first time. We shall see how it plays out.
For today (and I am trying to stay in this one only) I am so grateful that the complications for this week seem to be under control and I can share this simcha with my family. And that while I was awake all night in the hospital, I had the time to have many conversations with my higher power. What I got was slow it down, appreciate each moment and stay in it. It’s just too scary to try to take too much in at a time which I have no control over. For this wisdom, which I shall try to practice, I am so thnakful.