Happy Birthday Shira!!
Many friends have asked about coming to Memorial Sloan Kettering to visit Debbi. We thank them for their love and caring but frankly Debbi is just not up to it.
The epidural was removed earlier today and so the pain medication has shifted to Dilaudin, by mouth. Debbi, who as we all know now is very sensitive to medications, is having issues that may be due to the Fentanyl that was in the epidural and taken away, or, it could be due to the Dilaudin she just started… but it any case, she is nodding off without notice… kind of like sleep apnea. She was just drinking from a bottle of Evian, nodded off, and it spilled all over her.
Besides this, she is experiencing fears that she can’t make decisions or figure out what she wants to do. We have been talking to the medical team about managing the situation but it is going to take some time to resolve. And, the fact that it is not resolved right now is causing Debbi further consternation and anxiety and so the problem is actually snowballing. Plus the anxiety is leading to fear and so Debbi is at once, in pain, anxious, fearful, scared, shaking etc.
I am trying to get the Pain Team to pay her another visit but as yet they have not arrived. The anxiety may just be the key. She has taken some Ativan, just like she has been taken all along, but the Team might just have to increase the dose. Maybe I am wrong but I think that the anxiety is the key driver of the grossed-up problem even more than the pain itself.
I brought some movies on DVD from home and we tried to watch The Music Man from Netflix Instant Access last night but she fell asleep between the start of the movie and Professor Harold Hill’s arrival in River City. Maybe we could try Jack Nicholson & Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give and see if Debbi can watch the movie from the beginning and stay conscious until the point where Jack’s character Harry suffers the heart attack. (Ok… I know… a bit of wry humor). But, I did get accused of “messing with her head” when I insisted several times that she was sleeping when she was convinced that she was constantly awake and alert.
Knowing that it is drug induced, and not a measure of her true person, we might as well have a bit of humor to tide us over until either the drugs wear off or the medical team can suggest and implement a better alternative therapy.
I wouldn’t film these scenes without her permission but as time progresses, weeks and months into the life she regains when she becomes cancer free, I assure you that these vignettes would make for some humorous clips on You Tube.