I am filling the days reading and knitting while waiting between PT, Doctor Appointments and Testing. I am getting quite bored and trying not to get steps ahead of myself to keep my sanity.
PT was very difficult yesterday and today I am in a great deal of pain. I even thought of taking something for the pain last night but iced the area and fell back to sleep. The good news is I can now lay on my back and lower my arm by myself all the way to the bed. With little assistance, I can lift it back up. These are the little steps that must be celebrated each day. Also, Even though I was up every 2 hours, I stayed in one bed and slept much more. Another little gain. For these I must be grateful.
Jan has been trying to reassure me about the cancer and the upcoming scans telling me that the cancer was beaten back by the chemo and what was left was removed. I have to use this like a mantra now to keep my mind away from the the fears and what ifs. I must admit, this is not always easy especially since I spend a great deal of time here alone. Many times, if I go there, the tears are overwhelming and panic sets in.
I am so looking forward to returning to work with the children and interacting with my colleagues. It will be much better for my mind to have a routine and be able to feel I am accomplishing something in my life.