I am feeling so much better physically but emotionally having a very difficult time now.  This is expected since I am in limbo waiting for news.  Now that I am not sleeping all the time, the days here alone drag on forever and I am thinking and thinking (bad idea). I am starting to feel sorry for myself and I long to return to my life when my kids were around or to when we lived in a community where I knew so many people.  I realize that life goes on and it is never really the way you remembered it.  So, for today I must accept that I am where I am supposed to be at this time and make the best of it.

I spent yesterday working on the poncho for my niece and just being.  I also rode my bike 20 minutes and did my PT exercises.  This morning I will goto PT again and know it is not going to be fun.  But I do know that once the pain has subsided that I see improvements in the use of my arm and shoulder.  The price to pay to get well.  

Today I am going to try to stay out of the past and the loses and remind myself of the gains I have made and there are a lot of those.  Even if I am told the cancer is not gone, I will have to face it and whatever treatments suggested and be happy that I have come this far and have many more good days physically than bad ones.  For this I am very grateful.

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