We thought we were going to our friend’s home, the Brown’s, for lunch which turned out to be a party of sorts.  My favorite people were also invited and we had a wonderful afternoon.  My Dad had such a good time, he even tried one of his old corny jokes.  By the time we were home, I was in agony and so back to bed with the pain meds, heating pad, tears, and the wait until it all kicked in so I could sleep.  It was worth it.  It is such a pleasure to be in the company with those you love and trust even for a short while.

Today, Jan will work at home so I can glimpse his handsome face here and there.  It is such security for me to know he is in arms reach.  Dad will devour the newspapers and we will just take a restful day.

The demons are ringing in my head and I am fighting to keep them at large but I am fighting with happy memories and thoughts as much as possible.  Jan even suggested that if I am still not getting anywhere after this round of treatment, maybe we should look at Dana Farber in Boston so I can be closer to the kids.  I am very happy at Sloan, Praying for miracles, and not ready to start all over.  Although a weekend at the cape when it gets warmer sounds fun.

Our friend’s daughter will be married in Israel in February.  I wish, in my head, I could be there to celebrate this wonderful occasion with them.  On the other hand, I am very aware that I don’t do well on planes for that period of time even when I am in top shape.  But another busy thought.

Hopefully, sometime this week Rea will bring the baby for a visit and I can laugh with him and his toothless grin.  She tells me he is really getting taller and I am so looking forward to seeing them. All my wonderful kids have called in and I adore their voices and stories.  A hug would be the best medicine which they will get when I get my hands on them.  I have to try my hardest not to cry when I talk with them so I really need to practice this for when I see them in person.  I want to savor each moment I have with them.

Back to “the cage” (bed on back with pillows and heating pad),  Wishing everyone a day of contentment, accomplishment and smiles. And keep praying for those little miracles.  My miracle today was the ability to type this blog.

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